Vegan Zombie

I am listening to some Dashboard Confessional which my (ex) emo ass has not done since my crush ridden days in high school. Lord were those times moping around for someone who did not deserve my attention a waste. The only reason this very emotional music is playing is because I have not slept at all tonight. It is 8:10 AM and I am still awake... tired but very antsy. My body actually shaking/shivering, that can't be a good sign. 

Sooooo I bet no one will be reading this anytime soon. Lord knows I'm a very private person. I'm shy and very protective of myself and the people I love. The only reason I'm actually making a blog is because I was exploring my MacBook's abilities after two years of ownership. ha! I got addicted to iWeb and then found out I would have to pay $90 a year after the free trail to use it. what a crap loud! I'm so annoyed by that cause everything was all cute. oh well.

I've had a journals... never kept them updated although know I own one and use it to keep me sane... and because I have thoughts I want to say out loud and can't because I'm too shy or scared and If I wasn't getting them out I would be a ticking time bomb. I have no one else that will understand me or that I'll trust (used to but I screwed that up) so a binded book of blank pages  will do for now. 

I feel like a zombie. A vegan zombie. Not 100% sure if that includes humans though. Cannibals are interesting though. That's the strange (repressed) anthropologist in me speaking.... i swear I'm not a psychopath. 

I'm really craving: a cigarette ( i quit a while ago, still hard), Starbucks Vanilla Soy Latte (haven't had one in ages!), Maggie Mudd ice cream from San Francisco, a hamburger (I'm a bad vegan with my naughty thoughts :P), and someone to cuddle with :(

... The places that you've come to fear the most 

It's the place that you have come to fear the most

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself

And hidden in the public eye

Such a stellar monument to loneliness

Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes

Perfect make-up, but you're barely scraping by....

nat